PROUD TO BE AGEING DISGRACEFULLY

Well I have somehow managed to survive lockdown in my motorhome without going totally stir crazy. But I have definitely been on an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes feeling totally lost and at other times embracing the fact that I have all the time in the world to do what I feel like doing. Which after my busy working life is such a luxurious position to find myself in. 

I have embraced the world of social media, which I have to say has been such a source of support and knowledge. I have connected with so many inspiring people who have reaffirmed my desire to challenge ageism and change the images and narratives surrounding the ageing process. Some have taken umbrage at my social media skills and how I tweet and retweet things but for me it is a learning process and I am sure I will get it wrong at times. But as long as I know I am coming from a good place with a good heart I will continue to embrace social media and see the good in it. I also have to find a tougher skin to not let some of the negativity hurt me.

A few years ago I gave a talk at a women's conference called AGELESS FEARLESS WOMEN;YOU CAN DO IT TOO.  I outlined my life really, from being a nurse for nine years, to having my daughter and finding myself a single mother when she was four. Getting onto the BBC Trainee reporter scheme and becoming a journalist in Radio and TV for thirty years. 

Taking a gap year from the BBC just before I turned fifty, packing a rucksack and travelling around the world on my own seeking out adventure.

Then running two marathons,

climbing the Three Yorkshire Peaks,

and climbing Mount Mulanje in Malawi with an amazing group of entrepreneurial women who I travelled over there with to help women in Malawi with their start up businesses and community projects.

I even went to Glastonbury with some other 50 somethings and we called ourselves THE MENOPAUSAL MERMAIDS and we had such a blast!

At that time I outlined how I had become increasingly disillusioned with the way people in society viewed and talked about older people. I had witnessed many forms of ageism firsthand in the newsrooms I worked in. I planned to retire from the BBC when I was sixty and buy a motorhome and travel around Great Britain to Challenge ageism and challenge stereotypes of older people. I wanted to change the images that depicted the ageing process and the narratives surrounding getting older. I wanted it to be seen very much as a positive and something to relish rather than to dread. I wanted to put myself where I wanted to be in society rather than where society seemed to want to put me as a retired pensioner.

The more I thought about this the more excited I became about my pending adventure. I would talk about it to anyone who would listed and decided that I would call my adventures SHUVONSHUVOFF. 

As the time drew closer to my retirement I was both afraid and excited about what I was going to do. And people started saying to me "you are really going to do this arn't you?"to which I would respond with much enthusiasm "yes and I cannot wait".

For part of my retirement present from work they got me a mug with a logo on depicting me and a SHUVONSHUVOFF logo with a motorhome and a years membership for the Caravan and Motorhome club. 

I got rid of my flat and most of my possessions and bought my motorhome 'Dora the Explora' , and embarked on my adventure nearly twelve months ago. 

I said my plan was to have no plan I would just see where the mood took me. If I liked a place I would stay and if I didn't I would move on. And that is exactly what I have been doing. I have met interesting people and learnt a lot about myself. I have had to lay demons to rest along the way, like grieving properly for my mother, who died six months before my journey began. And mending my broken heart after a failed relationship, which in retrospect was a release from something that would never have survived my travelling as it made it even harder for me to be totally true to my adventure because I was always worrying about not being too far away for him to travel to see me, or me to travel to him.

 I found the perfect spot by a Loch in Scotland for me to really let go with my emotions and it was very cathartic. 

I have found so much energy and excitement for life since I retired. I do not have restraints on my life like work and bills etc. I have a small BBC pension to live off but that is all I need. I used to live in a flat surrounded by so much stuff that I did not really need or ever use. Now my motorhome is full of things I need and enjoy using and I love my simple surroundings. I can find things more easily in this small space. In my flat I could spend days looking for stuff and I only found it when I eventually did not need the thing I had misplaced, which was infuriating.

During this last year I have weathered storms, heavy rain and even a pandemic but all that has enabled me to really realise that I am letting myself be strong and face everything that life has to throw at me and I am loving the feeling that I am ageing in a way that I always envisaged I would. It is unconventional I know but I hope that it will inspire other people, both men and women, to look around at their lives and really ask themselves how do they truly want to get older? Do they need all that clutter both physically and mentally? Is it making them age in a way that is not good? slowing them down? Well there is another way. You can always AGE DISGRACEFULLY and do your own thing and really connect with nature and living and embrace the joys of ageing.

I have missed family and friends during lockdown and struggled a lot with not being able to hug, but once the camping lockdown ended some of my family joined me in their motorhomes and tents and even though the weather was awful we had our own MINI GLASTO and we had so many laughs. 

We ate and drank a lot and went for walks which was good for the soul. The youngsters love the way that they say I am ageing disgracefully and they too want to be as carefree as me when they get to my age. That really pleases me that they want to hang out with me and enjoy my lifestyle. I am not cut off from their social scene because I have reached a certain age. Life is evolving and the ageing process needs to evolve with it and we need more images in the media and advertising that reflect that people in their 50's 60's 70's 80's and beyond, are doing their own thing and there is no one size fits all. 

I am readying a great book by Louise Aronson, ELDERHOOD, about redefining ageing and she talks about the third phase of life being 'Elderhood', we have Childhood, Adulthood so why not Elderdood to encompass the third part of life. We will spend more time in Elderhood than Childhood so we should enjoy it. Another book I am really looking forward to reading is 'How To Age Joyfully' by Maggie Pigott , as she says we are living longer, so lets live better!! 

Younger people should not be dreading getting older but actually looking forward to it as a time when they can really come into their own and enjoy everything life has to offer.

When I grew up my parents ran an old people's home and they took men from the age of 65 and women from the age of 60.

To me now having just turned 61 I find that unbelievable. I am so active, cycling for miles and I am still going skiing.

And only the other day I was running around the campsite gathering wood like a mad woman and breaking it over my knee to build a fire to relax by with a few drinks before I retired to my motorhome for the night.

 

The thought of sitting in a nursing home is so far removed from my reality and the way we age has really changed. Society and the advertising and media world need to catch up with images and narratives surrounding ageing and realise there are a lot of people out there who are ageing in a different way nowadays. We are far more active and adventurous and I for one am proud to be AGEING DISGRACEFULLY and long may it continue.