NOT SURE IF I AM READY YET FOR THE END OF LOCKDOWN!

One hundred days of lockdown and things are beginning to reopen, schools, shops, pubs and now soon campsites but my anxiety is beginning to rear its ugly head again. I have been fortunate that I have been staying in my motorhome on a campsite with very few people, in a lovely part of Lancashire, just outside of Lancaster. I have spent the last one hundred days exploring the area and discovering so much about the history of the places I have visited.

 Like the beautiful castle in Lancaster. It dates back to Roman times and is owned by the Duchy of Lancaster, the Queen. The trials of the Lancashire witches took place here almost four hundred years ago and there have been hundreds of executions at the castle for things like stealing cattle to murder. It has served as a prison since the mid 17th century until as recently as 2011. Sadly I could not do a tour of the castle because of COVID lockdown but I will be back to find out more about its fascinating history.

I also discovered the beautiful Lancaster canal paths to cycle along all the way to Morecambe and Carnforth. The canal was constructed in the early eighteen hundreds. Opening up to the sea in 1819 and later branching out to Glasson Docks in1826. It was known as the "black and White canal because it carried coal from the south and limestone from the north 

I have learnt that during my future travels I need to stop in places a little longer than I have been doing and give myself time to actually get to know an area. If it were not for lockdown I would probably have only spent a few days here and I would have missed so much. But all this has lulled me into a false sense of security.
Now I am only a few days away from the campsite opening to the general public I am worried and excited in equal measure. I am hoping that the people who come onto the site respect the distance rules and keep things clean and tidy and don't put others at risk. I along with my neighbours have got into such a routine over the last one hundred days.

Even taking it in turns each week to give the toilet block a thorough cleaning with bleach and various disinfectants to ensure our safety. So I just hope that standards will be maintained.
I am also excited because my family have booked in so that we can spend time near one another after so long apart. I have not seen my daughter for over six months and I physically ache to see her. She will be driving up from London with her boyfriend and their little dog Frank to pitch up their tent alongside my motorhome. My brother and his wife have also booked into the next motorhome pitch alongside me and their son will come with his tent and my sister, who lives nearby, will join us along with another sister-in -law, in her camper van. It will be great to just reconnect. I have realised that I need my family and friends so much in my life. I have learnt that I am not as strong mentally without them. I thought I would be able to deal with lockdown ok. I have coped physically, heading out on my ebike to explore, but mentally I have had some pretty dark days where I have cried for no reason and really heart wrenching cries because I miss the human and physical contact that feeds my soul. Saying that I know I am a strong woman and I am proud with the things I have overcome in my life and I know that I can overcome so much with the support of family and friends.
I am just going to have to deal with whatever emotions come to the fore when people arrive and move forward. 

I am excited that all this means that my adventure on the roads around Great Britain can be kick started again. Although I will wait a couple of weeks to just see the lay of the land and how people receive motorhomes and caravans in their area. I have noticed there is some hostility towards them in some tourist spots. But my idea is to get the motorhome serviced then hit the road heading down south to Dorset, Devon and Cornwall for the next few months. But my plan is to have no plan I will just let my mood take  me to paces. I will look at the maps and pick out places I fancy exploring and if I like it I will stay a while and if not I will move on. That feeling of doing what I want when I want is what I have been missing during lockdown. It was one of the main motivating factors for me taking to the road in the first place.

One of the positive things that has come out of lockdown for me is that I have connected with some fabulous people on social media. They have taught me so much and hopefully I have inspired some. I know only yesterday one of the ladies and her husband bought a camper van to go travelling and she said it was something they had often discussed but she was also inspired by me to finally take the plunge and buy it. I am excited for her because I know how liberating it has been for me taking to the road. Follow her adventures on Instagram 'Nora_our_explora'.

Another inspirational woman I have connected with is Rachel Peru, who is an advocate for older women embracing who they are, she took up modelling at the age of fifty! She has a Facebook site called ' Out of the Bubble' and she asked me if I would do an interview with her about my motorhome madness. It was great to finally speak to her because I felt I already knew her through social media. I am heartened to see that hundreds of people have watched the interview and I hope that I inspire a few more to seek out adventure in later life.

I am also a regular contributor to the Pat Marsh programme on BBC Radio Kent, giving regular updates on my Motorhome Madness, to inspire women of all ages to seek out adventures and to dispel the stereotypes of retired pensioners.

I have to say that mostly I have quite enjoyed my lockdown period. It has allowed me to connect with new people in a different way and take time for a lot of soul searching and reflection as to WHO I AM  and on what has made me who I am today. I feel I am coming out of lockdown with a greater sense of what I want and don't want for my life. But now the 4th of July is approaching and the campsite will be open I find myself thinking "I am not sure if I am ready for this!"