KEEPING FIT DOES NOT ALWAYS GO SMOOTHLY IN ISOLATION

March 23rd the government put the country into Lock down to try and stop the spread of Coronavirus. Well here we are on Good Friday, day 19, we are all still very firmly in isolation to make sure that we protect ourselves and others. We wait with baited breath to see just how many idiots flout the rules and still go out during the East Weekend sunshine and risk their lives and the lives of others. I find it incredible that despite all the testimonies of people who have lost loved ones and witnessed first hand what it is like, people chose to ignore the advice and travel long distances and party together or go out to sunbath. My fear is that the government will have no option but to bring in even stricter rules to keep up safe.

I have to say I am definitely finding it an emotional roller coaster. I am usually pretty self sufficient and love to challenge myself in situations that take me out of my comfort zone. But this really is unchartered territory. I always supposed if I had the luxury of time on my hands like this I would do so much like paint or write. But I have been unable to focus. I have the canvas and paints and I look at them daily but have yet to pick up a brush. As for writing I have so much going on in my head I just do not know where to start. A lot of it is self reflection and it has taken me into some dark places over the last couple of weeks. But it has also made me realise that I am able to find ways to cope and occupy myself and find inner peace at times.

I have driven myself mad looking at all the news feed and the government's daily briefings. I had to stop watching them because I was getting so irate that they were not answering the questions. It just seemed like some kind of PR exercise by the government to keep people quiet. Trying to make us believe they would keep us truly informed but for me it just reconfirmed that the government is really out of touch with the public and our levels of intelligence.

For my own sanity I have been getting up early and trying to have a daily bike ride out into the countryside or to the sea. Both are within a reasonable distance so I can have a good bike ride of about an hour a day. I love the fact that I am taking my time and concentrating on my surroundings and enjoying the beauty of things more. I am hearing the birdsong so much more clearly and it does brighten up my day. My mother would be proud of me as she always loved birds and she knew so much about them. I on the other hand was not very receptive to her trying to impart that information and actually thought it was a waste of time. Oh how I wish she was here now so I could tell her all about the birds I see on my walks and bike rides.

The other day I was merrily riding along on my bike when I saw a man in the distance and he was not going to move out of the way so I decided to move to the other side of the road and hop onto the pavement with my bike, like an accomplished cyclist! There were two flaws in my plan: Firstly the pavement was far too high and solid; and secondly I am not an accomplished bike rider. So the upshot was I hit the pavement at speed and went flying over the handlebars and went crashing to the ground and hit my head on the wall of a cottage, thank god I was wearing a cycle helmet!
The fella that stood still initially came running over to see if I was ok but I had to call out "no! no! move away don't come over!! we need to stay apart" I sat there battered, bleeding and bruised in a heap on the pavement, I was in shock but new I needed to make my way back to the motorhome on my own as I could not call anyone.  I managed to scramble to my feet and try to stem the flow of blood from my hand and not think about the pain. The handlebars were bent at 45 degrees to the front wheel but I managed to tentatively cycle it back home with the battery on full to help me.
When I got back the landowner, Roger, was there with his wife and I left my bike against a wall at a safe distance and he mended it for me and realigned it. Thankfully it is ok.

It has taken me a few days to get over the shock of it. I used plenty of ice packs and painkillers but I am still very sore and the bruising is coming out all over my body.  If I am honest I feel a bit of an idiot when I think about it, what was I thinking by ever attempting that manoeuvre onto the pavement in the first place?

Thankfully I have some great neighbours on the site and they have looked out for me and got me shopping and checked my concussion didn't get any worse. My sister who lives a mile down the road also did a shop for me and bought booze and chocolate to cheer me up.

I decided as I was not able to get out on my bike for a bit I would do some weights in the motorhome, which in retrospect was silly because there is not much room. But during one of the exercises I only went and bashed my already damaged left hand with one of the weights and now it is extremely painful and even more swollen. I am having to type this one handed!  It seems my body is telling me to just stop for a while.

 I have decided I will just take gently walks for my exercise routine for a while as it is probably safer.

One good thing about all this is that I have got to know a great group of people on social media. I love exchanging ideas and seeing their opinions on things. I like to see what makes them laugh or what things they feel strongly about. I have been alarmed by the way people over sixty are talked about in the coronavirus debates and often discarded. I like that I can share my feelings with like minded people. I intend to keep on fighting ageism and stereotypes of retired women in society for the foreseeable future.

I have also found the social media family of men and women a great source of support when I have been having my wobbly moments, I realise that there are many of us out there having off days and struggling to cope. I have always been an optimist and love life but sometimes I have to realise that I need to be gentle on myself and I do not always have to be happy and positive and that it is alright not to feel ok but that the next day will bring new experiences and feelings.

I also love to feel that my comments and meanderings may be of some comfort and support to others during this crazy time.

My plan was to explore and connect with people in my motorhome. I am just having to look at a different kind of exploration and connection through social media, facetiming and zoom. I even went to the national theatre online last night and saw Jane Eyre which was fabulous.

And tonight I am looking forward to watching simultaneously ' Jesus Christ Superstar ' with my sister and sister-in-law. We plan to have pre theatre drinks via zoom and interval drinks and after show drinks as well.

All this keeps the spirits up but I cannot wait to be able to meet up in the flesh and to hug the ones I love so tightly and never ever take hugging for granted again.