TIME TO REFLECT ON MY RETIREMENT GOALS

Every morning I loved getting up and heading out to Loch Morlich to go for a walk to clear my head. And every day the weather was so different so I didn't tire of the views across the loch because they were never the same. Thankfully at this time of year there are not many tourists around. Not everyone is as crazy as me heading to Scotland when the winter weather hits. So I would often not see anyone.

I decided that it was time for me to wrestle my bicycle off the bike rack at the back of the motorhome once more and go for a bike ride into Aviemore along the "Old Logging Way. It was around five miles from the Glenmore campsite into the town centre. 

It was so beautiful and I was blown away by the views of the snow capped mountains in the distance through the trees, as I rode along. I felt a total sense of freedom and at times I played at being a far more competent rider than I actually am, thinking I was cutting edge because I stood up in my seat on a steep bumpy decent. I soon stopped that when I nearly came a cropper!

There wasn't that much to see in Aviemore as most places were pretty quiet in the winter season. So I turned around and rode the five miles back again. En route I was fascinated by this beautiful tree I cycled past, with its roots on display to show how it was connected to the earth and standing tall, the grit and determination to stay standing even though all its roots were exposed to the harsh elements. Somehow it struck a chord with me, the feeling of trying to establish roots to be strong and digging down deep.

About a mile from my motorhome I stopped at a place on the edge of Loch Morlich, it was so tranquil, calm and beautiful. Part of the reason for doing this journey has been for me to take a good look at my life and to reflect on who I am and what I really want to get out of my life during my retirement years. During the last few years my belief in myself has been shaken, during the menopause and by how I was treated by my boss at work. I cannot believe I ever allowed myself to be treated the way I was. But when you are going through the menopause it is so hard to fight back. But if I ever see that person again in my life I will give them both barrels and tell them what they did to me and how they made me feel and I never deserved that. The sad thing is he has daughters himself and I wonder how he would feel if a man treated his daughters the same way in the workplace when all they want to do is a good job at work.

I feel strongly that a lot more needs to be done to raise awareness of ageism in the workplace and in society in general.

 I also want to dispel stereotypes of what retired pensioners look like or what they are doing.

I am still working out in my head how I go about doing that. But for the time being with my motorhome madness I want to inspire other retirees to seek out adventure and to think outside the box and push their boundaries. I know that I am lucky that I am being totally selfish and doing what I want to do when I want to do it. That is so liberating for me after so many years of being told pretty much in my working environment what I had to do and when and how I had to do it, by a lot of people I did not respect because they were so mean spirited.
Too many people lose themselves and their sense of identity and purpose in life when they retire and I  want to do the opposite and really find out who I am and what really makes me tick. It was a scary prospect heading out alone. I have done a lot of soul searching and taken a lot of inspiration from things I have been reading and like minded people I have connected with on social media. I felt I was beginning to get more of a sense of who I was. But the recent breakup of my relationship set me back a bit, I felt a bit rudderless and not as focussed for a bit but I can feel my resolve coming back to enjoy this adventure and go out and meet people and to experience new things.  And to achieve a deep sense of purpose to help others going through the menopause who lose their way and who are facing retirement and life's changes. For me retirement is definitely an exciting phase of my life and I feel as if my life is moving forward and I am changing,  I cannot wait to see what is in store for me.